Disproportionate

At the moment, summer is crazy and I smell wood. Man, saw-freaking-dust! in my face! this dude called Mario is slicing up my wooden floor just to make it fit. it's crazy! He's doing everything with sunglasses on. That's what happens when water gets in under wooden floors. Note: Never get wooden flooring close to any kind of water. No Luigi today. Just Mario.

9 days pass. Still no news. Maybe time for a little retail therapy? I dunno.

To film or not to film? Too many DSLR nowadays, puts me off snapping things.

Money makes the world go round but I don't have enough of it for therapy. I've been binge book buying recently and I have 10+ untouched/ half read books. They're all in a box and in a different place so I can't read them yet. Wait till things settle down then I'll dive into my Murakami's and Neil Gaiman's. For the time being, I will try and learn to be a Warrior of Light. Here's a snippet:

The warrior of light concentrates on the small miracles of daily life.

He is capable of seeing what is beautiful because he carries beauty within himself, for the world is a mirror and gives back to each man the reflection of his own face. The warrior knows his faults and limitations, but he does all he can to maintain a good humour in moments of crisis.

The world is, after all, doing its best to help him, even though everything around him seems to be saying the opposite.

-Paolo Coelho, Manual of the Warrior of Light

N

One Sided Conversation

I'm speaking more to myself than anyone else.

Hopes and dreams will stay only that, if you don't do something about it. Sometimes, in order to achieve it is to sacrifice something. It could be anything, be it time, money or even a 4 year degree. Let's write a story. Of what? You already know what, you've already started writing it. It's just time to sprint to the finish. Complete your thesis of thought, your dream journal.

N

Absolute emptiness

This is the absolute worst feeling someone can have. Total emptiness.

I have been following them since I was a kid. There is no other band that I look up to in Malaysia. Why does it have to be now? When I'm stuck in Australia. I should be in my home country, listening to their last performance.

4 shows with a full line up.

PENERBITAN BUTTERWORLD presents

Sesi Istana Budaya Butterfingers

Saturday

17/01/09

1996 - 2001 Unplugged

With guest band Bunkface

2:30pm - 4:00pm

RM 35 per entry

Saturday

17/01/09

Mari Hidup Kembali (Sessi Gitar Kapok)

Dengan band jemputan Hujan

8:30pm - 10:00pm

RM 35 per entry

Sunday

18/01/09

Transcendence 10-year Anniversary Rock Out

2:30pm - 4:00pm

RM 35 per entry

Sunday

18/01/09

Mari Hidup Kembali (Sessi Gitar Karan)

8:30pm - 10:00pm

RM 35 per entry

Adam called me from the gig with 'the chemistry' playing. That'll be the last time I would be hearing it for a long while. Why?! Now I'm just an empty shell.

N

Freud

I have never studied psychology before but it interests me. I am very intrigued by our minds, to say the least, and the way it works. The most interesting aspect of the mind, to me, is in its complexity and the possible untapped powers it possess. I have written about this before (I think) but never actually researched about it.

I plan/wish/would like to embark on a 'thesis' to uncover something about Freud's theory of the subconscious. I know that his work is very popular and dozens of people would definitely have studied this but I personally have not. I don't even know what he says about the topic. I would very much like to find out and see if I agree or not.

Here I go. Into the world of research.

N

A note on power

I feel that everyone needs a boost of motivation every now and then. Actually, I could really use that myself most times, to lift spirits, to be extremely optimistic and highly inspired. Reading Rewan's post somehow made me a little motivated to really strive for what I want. It also triggered a memory of a quote shown to me by someone very smart.

I was told that this quote is from Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech. But, I just read somewhere that it was originally written by Marriane Williams, who I know nothing of. No matter who wrote or said it, it has meaning and the power to move nonetheless.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I do believe that we are powerful beyond measure, and there's no need for us to be afraid of that power within. There is absolutely no reason why we cannot achieve what we set out to do. We can live our life however way we want and make our dreams come true.

What a nice thought.

N

between here and there

input and out. I need to work on both.

You observe and you think and you ponder. Jane said it. We live now. Not later, not in the future as we tend to think and want to. Where am I now? I'm between here and there (maybe even literally). I am waiting and making people wait. I shouldn't make people wait.

So, observe what? I guess, as cliche as it might be, the answer would be life. It might not be the present life. Definitely not the future. It could be the past. Even though now is an un-inspirational point in time, I have to make something out of it. I need to make it a point to soak in more information.

I am not the type of person who concludes things in my mind. I watch a movie and I get ideas and thoughts from them. And they stay that way. Ideas and thoughts. It doesn't get out, no output. I could not write reviews and opinions. Well, I might have opinions, but when I focus on it, to figure out what I think to put in words, what I thought about something, all I can find is...VOID. Hence the title and possibly original purpose of this blog.

I need to learn to observe and churn out some sort of contribution. I need to have thoughts on things and put it in words. How else can you translate this life? To tell it? That's my aim, telling life, as honestly as possible, but with a few twists and turns of course. So I have to learn.

N

marathonia

My marathon started on Tuesday. This post is by no means a review of any kind, merely opinions I guess. I am useless when it comes to reviews. I am void of thoughts. I saw all the following movies alone. heh.

First was 'Australia'. I thought it was decent. The cinema wasn't full, I was comfortable. I had room for my legs, which was good. I found it just okay. I wasn't bored. But I wasn't moved or feel connected to it either. It was an OK experience. However, I did something exciting last night. We went to ATLAB. This is where most, if not all films are developed and/or color graded in Australia. They were working on 'Australia' while I was there. They also had heaps of film rolls lyring around, waiting to be sent to cinemas. I saw 'When the earth stood still' film rolls. How cool is that?! I got a small souvenir, a strip of 35mm film roll. Jakun!

Later that night, was the opening film 'After School'. This was a huuuuge treat. This was probably the best movie I've seen this year. Everything was just brilliant. The acting, the marvelous plot, the beautiful color of film, etc. Everything. ... I can't find the trailer on youtube. How sad. I wonder how you guys are going to find this little gem. Haha. Too bad.

The next day, Ichi. This was good too. It wasn't astoundingly brilliant like after school. But, it still has its own merits. Ayase Haruka is simply beautiful. She doesn't have to do much, just stand there and look pretty. And it works! Storyline was pretty slow but I was indulging the fact that I'm watching a Japanese movie in a theatre. It was also quiet. I couldn't eat my bag of chips that I snuck in. Overall, it was a pleasing film.

I cheated with ALWAYS 2 and Welcome to the quiet room. I saw both on Crunchyroll.com. Bad bad. But, that's because I couldn't go watch it in the cinema. I had work. I wished I'd seen ALWAYS 2 in the cinema. It's just breathtakingly beautiful. Also because Horikita Maki is in that. You guys might want to check out ALWAYS first though. It's on crunchyroll as well.

Next one is tommorow, Kabei. This might prove to be yet another good one. With the likes of director Yoji Yamada, famous for Daremo Shiranai (Nobody knows), and also one of my favourite japanese actors, Tadanobu Asano! Ahh...it's going to be great!

Apart from these movies, I've also rented out 5 DVDs last night. I watched one this morning (Miss Potter) and there's 4 more to go. The marathonia continues!

Also, I've been busy coming up with ideas for short films. I've finished writing one. We'll see how that goes. I'm writing a second one now. And there's 3 more ideas in my head. Slow and steady, pen to paper, slow and steady. Exciting times, just can't wait to get back and get things going. It's just a matter of time.

N